Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
