he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
