The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
