god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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