I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
