I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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