I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
