My first STD was from a foam party
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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