I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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