No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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