I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
