Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
