You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
