i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's always time for handjobs
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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