Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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