So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
