White coat. Heels.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
