i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
