You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
