Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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