No, drunk sperm still make babies.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
