I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
