I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
