So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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