And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
