Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
