Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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