I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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