I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
