so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
