I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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