He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
