glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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