I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
