...so i touched it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
