he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
