I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
