i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize