Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
