I heard we made out
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
