I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
