my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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