you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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