you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
