then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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