i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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