Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't like sucking hair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize