i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
