At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
