Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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