if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize