Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I could fuck to npr.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
