is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
