We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
