True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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