I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize