Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
