one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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